Allowing Love In

My clients often tell me that they feel alone and disconnected. They tell me that they feel silly telling me this because, in actuality, they are busy people surrounded by their managers at a government agency or their staff in their business. These clients are practically never alone.

So how is it that men and women who are in tall office buildings surrounded by thousands of people and then even more on the way home on the metro as well, when they are cramped into a less than 10″ space while holding onto the nearest pole- feel lonely?

We often disconnect, unintentionally, most of the time, but it happens. We know we have a deadline, so we neglect to go out with friends for instance. Then as time moves forward, we connect with them less and less until it feels uncomfortable to call them out of the blue.

Or we are at the gym or grocery store, just trying to get out as fast as possible, and don’t make eye contact with the people standing right next to us. We mean to call and visit our aging parents, but we may feel we don’t have the time.

These are lost opportunities. Opportunities to make friends of course, but also opportunities to connect with others in our same situation. These are opportunities to enrich our lives and deepen our connection with family members and friends.

We are human. We need that one-to-one connection to feel good, and also to survive, to cope with life. Humans also need to be touched. It’s ok if we are not loved, but it does feel good to be liked- to feel a connection, maybe even a shared experience with someone else.

When you are on the metro- say hello and smile at the person standing so close to you, you could identify their deoderant! Say hello and smile to the grocery store clerk who’s had a long day, and now smiles back at you, identifying you as another human being, a caring individual.

Hug more! In the corporate world, it’s a no-no, however, it’s ok to hug your friend or family member as long as they are ok with it. And if they are- then go for it! Insert hugs where ever you can. Hug your family, your kids, and your dog. Let them hug you. Let yourself feel the “love”- or even the “like”! Let them feel your love, your humanity. Hug your friends when you see them, or before they leave you. I grew up in a totally hugging family. We hugged each other when we walked into a room when we exited the room when we went to sleep when we woke up. We hugged just for hugging’s sake. I’ve passed this down to my kids, whom I get BIG hugs from when they walk into the house; when they leave the house, etc.

A lot of my clients have forgotten what it’s like to give a hug and to receive a hug.

Don’t make excuses. Think about it and work towards connection with others- even your pet. When no one is around, especially after a long day, I give and receive hugs and feel the love from my doggie and it makes me feel great. It’s a certain feeling, a tingling warm sensation that is emitted from our hearts that seeps into our minds.

Go forth and spread the love!

Through life coaching with me- Nira Berry, you can reach your goals.

contact me at info@niraberry.com

Nira Berry is a Certified Life coach, Laughter Therapist, Inspirational Speaker leading corporate team building programs for over 15 years.